Yeah, I am a total slut for the goodness that is Warhammer 40K. It is a universe represented in books, games (Video and Tabletop), the only thing left is Film.

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Categories

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Warhammer_40k_Wiki

I have read most of the books, doing about 3 a week. I have both games, and I have started painting models.

What is 40K ? The intro to the Novels sums it up best !

"IT IS THE 41st millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods, and master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die.

YET EVEN IN his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the warp, the only route between distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor's will. Vast armies give battle in his name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bio-engineered super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Guard and countless planetary defence forces, the ever-vigilant Inquisition and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants - and worse.  

To BE A man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods."

My favorite books so far:

Lord of the Night

"Lord of the Night is the story of the Talonmaster, an ancient Night Lords Chaos Marine lieutenant desperate to recover a lost chapter heirloom hidden somewhere in the vast depths of an ancient hive city.

In the course of his search, the Talonmaster must confront scores of underhive gangers, units of Adeptus Arbites and the persistent attention of a determined junior interrogator and her inscrutable inquisitor mentor. Perhaps more importantly, he must also come to terms with his distant past and the alternating grief, paranoia and rage which have dogged him for centuries.

The Talonmaster is more than just a mindless pawn of Chaos, bouncing from one orgy of death and destruction to another. His cruelty is calculated, his violence directed. He is an ally of Chaos but not its servant. He strives at all times to remain true to the teachings of his long dead Primarch whose death a millennia earlier still haunts him.

The richest parts of the book are those flashbacks in which the Talonmaster recalls the brief time that he spent fighting and learning at the side of his beloved Primarch, Konrad Kurze. The insights into the genesis of the Horus Heresy and Kurze's subsequent fall from grace are alone worth the price of the book. Particularly enjoyable is Kurze's take on the tragic rift which developed between him and the Emperor even before Horus turned traitor."

Horus Heresy Series

This series catalogs the fall of the Imperium, the death of the Corpse God-Emperor and Horus, and the sundering of the Astartes Legions.

How the fuck cool is that.

It has been pouring rain here, kinda glad. I love the rain, just not for driving. I am gonna start carrying the camera with me more often.

God Rays (beat that Crysis)!!

I have been listening to audio comedies while driving, as a change from Dancehall.

Just finished:

'The Curry Goat Show', which is an old English BBC Radio 7 Show, the bit with the "Retired Grumpy English Soldiers is killer, think of "Statler and Waldorf" from the muppet show, but grumpier.

Joe Rogan's 'I'm gonna be dead someday', and 'Shiny Happy Jihad'. Both Hella funny, it is interesting to note how his comedy has changed a bit, as I guess his personality changed.

The bit about Bin Laden's phone provider is classic.

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent — it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.

--Heinlein

So today I decide to go to the gun range. Seriously, I am not a gun fanatic, they are mechanical devices, and are prone to failure/accidental shooting unless one is careful. Something I am not, at all.

Anyhow, I go to  here Arizona Guns and Knives,

Inside the Store:

My teacher was named Ed. He is an older gentleman, and is very nice to deal with. He taught me how to hold the guns (Revolver and Semi-Automatic), he told me how he was showing his daughter about firearms, and the gun went off because the hammer mechanism was faulty. He was the person who warned me that as mechanical devices, they are prone to failure. We went through stances when shooting. Then we moved onto loading, unloading, both type of pistols. 

He showed me that while I am right handed, my left eye is dominant. This means that I have to tilt my wrist a bit to compensate for the fact that I hold then gun in my right hand, but aim with my left eye. Even though today I shot using my right eye only.

He then made me practice aiming on one of the coat hangers in the store, till the range was free. I learned about the difference between Single and Double-action Revolvers, as there is a heck of a difference when shooting. Basically, you cock (pull back) the hammer for Single-action, and only a slight squeeze is needed to fire the round. This means the gun is more stable and you get off a cleaner shot ( At least till you get good enough to compensate). Double-Action is when you just pull the trigger, which then pulls the hammer back, then releases it. It it much harder to pull back the trigger, and it may throw your aim off.

So, the range freed up,and we put on safety gear.

"Eyes then ears." I was told. So toting both guns in a plastic bucket, we went to number 2 with a box of bullets.

I started with the Revolver, and he made me load it, he told me to fire 5 with single-action, and 5 with double-action. The trigger was hard as hell to pull in double action mode, and made me go wide a bit. In Single-Action mode it barely moved and I was able to concentrate more on aiming.

I have drifty hands, no surgeon work for me it seems.

Moving to the Semi, I loaded up the ten bullets and pulled the slide back, just like on TV. WH00t !

Ed had cautioned me earlier about how important it is to place your hand and fingers out of the way of the escaping gases and moving parts. The slide can take a chunk out of your hand with EASE..

Not so good with the Semi... Don't get me wrong, I am good enough to get headshots and centre mass body shots, but I won't be shooting out earrings or shooting arrows mid-air with the Semi. Not yet.

The guy beside me was firing some monster gun, which made me jump each time, but Ed says you get used to it. I was so nervous I kept fumbling to load. It also made me miss two shots.

BOOM Headshot!

The outside ones are when the dude beside me was firing his hand-cannon and I was using Double-Action mode.

The ones on the outside are from Double-Action mode.

I spent the rest of the box of bullets switching between both guns, and had 2 duds in the Semi, which required me to pull the slide back to clear the breach.. That was cool. I had a dud in the revolver too.

So he gave me replacement bullets, and I put them in the revolver and went at it. Of course, the gun never fired... Why? Simple, I thought that the Revolver rotated the barrel clockwise, but he said Colts rotate clockwise, Smith and Wesson's rotate counter-clockwise.

After the session was done, he told me to come back anytime, and I did excellently. He also gave me my target and signed it.

I had a BLAST.....

Thank you ED...

I finally went, trying to get some culture into my life, good knows I ain't getting nothing else. It was very nice, very serene. Just a hair to many Mosquito's. One of them bastards broke their proboscis into my skin, felt like I got stabbed to fuck.

The Ring of Wisdom.

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

------ http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

There is a type of woman I see on occasion, I find them very fascinating, but at the same time kinda repellent, like a new and interesting bug. I refer to young women, not even touch twenty-five in most instances, that look USED. They are usually in shape, with flat stomachs and wearing tops that show off belly button rings and jeans or shorts that show the beginnings of pubic hair. At a distance, most men would be drawn to what is a very shapely and attractive figure. However, getting to within 10 feet, one begins to see that their faces look used, and kinda have that dead look that you see in movies of women getting raped or those subjected to years of emotional and physical abuse.

I was just in a pharmacy and saw two of those girls. Tattoo's, piercing's, which seemed not have been done to make a statement about their individuality, but more as signals showing their availability to men. They had wrinkles at the sides of their eyes, ill-fitting wigs. Have you ever seen something that is technically right, but just feels VERY wrong. Kinda like they were automations just living for the moment, or for whichever guy would take an interest in them for a couple months.

The thing is, they will always be in demand by guys who looking for a quick hit, and they have enough experience at pleasing MEN, that the men will stick around for a bit, but I am sure, barring accidental pregnancy, not one of them will ever meet the families of the men they sleep with.

I have actually been in a couple situations were I have met women like that, and I can say from first hand, they even FEEL different from other women. They have this weird unreal plasticky texture, kinda like a well made blow up doll, with the underlying coldness that I find repugnant.

Sorry, Just ranting....ignore...

Damn, you guys like the speed huh....

In Jamaica, we bribe the cops, or if you a chick, start crying. I have been in a car with Miss Mention doing 140 MPH and Police pulled her over in Jamaica, for to tell them that she was,"looking for Gas Station!", and they let her off with a warning.

I just passed a chick in traffic, ( Yeah, I hating on the woman driver cause I have been rear-ended twice by them.

a: At a Stoplight in Jamaica. We were both stopped, she forgot her foot should be on the brake and hit me.

b: In a Fuckin PARKING GARAGE in the USA. Dumb ass woman on her cell-phone behind me waiting for me to pay the parking attendant. She hits me too, WHILE STILL CHATTING ON THE FUCKING PHONE.

Why are they allowed to drive, they cannot perform 1/4 of the tasks needed to be a good driver.

Today's gem.

I am at a stoplight on a three lane highway/road/whatever, to my far left is a Black Ford 5.0 Liter something. The middle lane is a Family wagon. I am in the right lane. Light changes. I move off, the Ford moves with me, I accelerate to 55 keeping up with him, and cause you can't bribe American cops out of traffic tickets so easily, I ease off. Ford Accelerates to next light. Approaching the light I hear this car roaring up to pull along side me. Looking behind me, I notice a blond WOMAN in a Merc behind the Family Van.

Green...

I pull off, having fun with the Ford. I hear a horn blare and I have need to look behind to see what happened.

The Retard in the Benz has decided to switch lanes to get behind the Family Van and cut off the Ford, who mind you was doing upwards of 60 mph.

She races off, only to be caught by the next light, and me n the Ford driver simultaneously recognizing that the Merc driver has not the least bit of ability to drive a car properly we slow down and let her race off.

Ok...

I know what you're saying, "why so hard on the women?", "Why so hard on the Blondes?"

Let me explain.....

Bald Tires and Grip/Traction are perfect strangers..

Cutting off a 5.0 liter Sports car that is racing is insanity.

When your $90,000 Merc has the ripped apart hood attached to the frame with wire,

you have insurance and driving issues.

The sum total of that means stay the fuck home or take a bus.

1: Teachings of a Sword-Saint from the 1500's enable me to grip a Steering Wheel, E-brake lever and anything else with absolute control while maintaining a flexible looseness.

2: Driving slightly over the speed limit at nights +10/+12 will allow me to go for 5 miles through about 10 Lights.

3: Jamaican's are ACES at word play and creating imagery from such word plays.

"How you mean you can't get a dance? My youth, the gyal (girl) dem (them) dash wey (throw away/spill) inna the place."

4: I like the sound of children (girls) playing. (Do not want to see or interact, just makes me happy knowing they are happy)

5: You will never know what could have happened if you had just SAID something to her.

6: Shrimp, well cooked, are bliss. Bless the poor hungry bastard who caught the first crustacean and said, "Fuck it, I am gonna eat it!"

7:  I need fish, like fried Parrot and some bammy soaked in fish soup.

Yes, Monster Trucks are cool. The next you go someplace and leave the Camera, go back for it.

Silly me arrived at 2:00 pm (5 hours before showtime).

I stood in line for hour plus to ride in the monster truck.

This is the one I rode in : BLUUUUUUUUUUUE THUUUUUUUUNDER !!

Loads of fun.

Then I went the wrong way round and had to go back inside....

I was among the first in line at 5:00 at the Arena gates, So i spent the time looking at people.

Mullets exist, and they are scary..

Black People are FUCKING LOUD.....

Batty Rider shorts are worn by everyone, whether or not they fit.

There is a study somewhere that shows a relationship between the type and quantity of tattoos and the level of skank.

Lots of single moms, dunno if the dads are fishing or working or just absent.

There was one chick that caught my eye. Cutie.

As part of my Beat Rosie resolution, I am gonna resolve that problem I have.

How can someone so tall and with such thin legs and arms have such a HUGE Ass ?

Smoking is foul, and they should take your kids away if you smoke around them.

Jamaican people are everywhere, even at Monster Truck shows.

Inside the stadium was cool. There was a huge escalator, to take us up to the second floor.

Nice Carpeting ( I am only used to Jamaican Stadiums, sorry if I seem so impressed), lovely decor.

The Food counter lady was very nice, and chatted to me. I had Fish N  Chips.

Fish N Chips:

The Good :

The Fries were hot.

The Presentation was good (Fake Newspaper, with the correct date !!)

The Bad:

Tasteless batter.

Fish paste (Compressed fish)

Yes, I know I complain about the quality of food a lot, but I am a burgeoning Foodie (Snails are my next mountain to tackle), and honestly, I have found a place that does smashing Fish N' Chips. Need a date though, that place is more of a eating out place with people than a Fish shop.

The Show was Amazing. Car races with lots of crashing and smashing, motorcycle freestyle stunts.

The Monster Truck Races were great, only marred by the fact that the Arena is kinda small, and I think they should have had more space.

The Final Event of the night was Free Style, which is when the Trucks go crazy and Jump and Crush EVERYTHING in Sight.

El Toro Loco and Gravedigger Tore the place up, Insane Jumps and just Balls out action.

I am definitely going again !!

Let me get the first thing out of the way.

This is my blog, this is the equivalent of my diary. I have given one person the key. (Figuratively). If you are not she, and you find something here not to your liking, well that, dear reader, is just too fucking bad.

There is a HUGE X in the upper right corner of your browser, or if the mortification robs you of co-ordination, Alt-F4 will do the trick.

Second....

Imagine there is a person feeding cabbage to a cat, and as a result of the diet, the cat goes bald.

What does one say when the the cat feeder, upon being shown that the cat is bald, starts to complain that you hate the cat ?

The obvious thinking persons solution, would be to think:

"Hey!, maybe this a statement about the DIET of the cat!", but those who are exposed to the IQ sapping Black American Mentality will do the typical stupid thing and start shrieking about cat hatred, while  malicing the  people who point out the nudity of sir Kitty, while the cat gets a melanoma from over-exposure to sunlight... Meow

Your mother is right at times.... I am not saying anything else, simply because some people will think it has something to do with them and it really does not. But since this is MY Blog, I don't feel the need to explain.

Also, when you are fucking cold, don't play in hot water, your body will misread the temperature resulting in SEVERE burns... :-(

Writing is my way of clearing the clutter from my head. It allows me to look at the big picture in my head, and make some sense of it.

I went to a Monster Truck Rally, it was so much fun. I realize one thing though. The Average Woman of Caribbean Parentage I encounter will NEVER Enjoy that. Time to seek abroad. I am also gonna find out if Rosie was right by December 1st.

I am very passionate about the things I love. I am also jealous and insecure, and I expect certain things to be so without saying.

She is six months along, who would have thought an accident would lead to that...Damn, I cannot can't believe it. Name picked out and all. Hurry and come to Florida.

Looking back at that last sentence, I cannot for the life of me understand why, unless one is writing about a character with an overabundance of propriety, would one use "Cannot", instead of "can't" (Fixed)

I feel better already...

I rode in a Monster Truck today...What a rush, not really perfect though, as I prefer to be CLOSER to the ground.

For many, being raped is a lot to bear. However, one victim told the court recently that her experience would have been fine if her alleged attacker had not chopped her several times.

During the court case, it was mentioned that she was raped and chopped at least three times during the incident in 2007.

Allegations read in court are that on August 12, at 2:30 a.m., a masked man broke into the woman's house in Townhead district, Westmoreland, while she was asleep and proceeded to tie her hands.

It was further reported that the man raped the woman, waited for his erection to return and raped her again, waited for a third time and again performed the act.

The court was told that while the attacker was waiting for the third round, his victim managed to loosen the rope. She then waited for him to come close and dragged off the mask.

Defended herself

It was said that the attacker then bit her and she defended herself by also biting him. The attacker, who had been armed with a machete, chopped her on the left shoulder, left hand, left foot, right hand and in her head before escaping.

The police were summoned but the alleged attacker was said to have fled the area. The accused man was later held and handed over to the Westmoreland police, following a minor run-in with the law in Clarendon.

While giving an account of the ordeal in court on Monday, the victim said that the accused is a good-looking man, and if he had just raped her and not chopped her, she would not have taken him to court. She further said that he was wicked to have chopped her so badly.

Twitter...lol I am so late to this Internet thing. But I think the Twitterishness of my ADD life has found a nice home. I will still write my blog, cause it is great  to look back, and see how my thoughts were, and see how foolish I thought about situations and people. Fuck it, I am not even gonna lie. Yes, I was sprung, yes, she move loose and yes it hurts. After me a no robot without feelings. But life goes on, and what no break Nester-sama will empower him.

twitter.com/nestersan

Back in the day :

The Pleasure Scoop. When properly formed, the edges of the tongue form the hills, while the middle forms a deep valley. Airflow is directed via the valley to the center of a woman’s soul. Give it a flip to give the sensation of a scoop.

Yes it works...

Lonely, sad, angry...

This is Love:

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

(I made a pun)

I have a fascination with rings, from my first exposure to Metal and Goth. However living in Jamaica with almost no selection of cool stuff and no Visa somewhat limited my options.

Also Bourdain is the fuckin' man next to Ramsey, and he had one so. I got me a job. Then I went online:

1:   "one ring to pwn them all"                                 2: Gold Celtic Spinner Ring

3: Dragon Pattern                                                     4: Dome Band with Dragon Cut-Out

I am the year of the dragon, and I think they fucking rock. I am looking for one with the Japanese Symbols for Heaven and Perfection. If you love me I'm a size 13 ring.

I eat pussy, love it. Yes I will eat yours too, if you mad to come to my house.

So, I went to Naples with the family for some reason, and we passed this Indian reservation with a Swamp Safari and Alligator Show.

So plans were made to go.

It was a nice 65 mile drive. Half of the distance is when you come off the highway and need to travel to the Reservation.

Fucking LONG ROAD..in the middle of they will kidnap you and keep you territory.

The Safari was a blast, they had Airboats, Swamp buggies (think a US school bus on monster truck wheels), they also had a restaurant, where I sampled some Gator Nuggets. Think Fish, with the texture of chicken and dry Jerked Pork chewyness.

Main Gift Shop

The Bear, he was so fat around the middle...lolers

Petting the kitty..Yeah, I have a way with the furries. Yours too !

Airboat                                                                                       

Wild Boars (not so wild, they get fed by the keepers)

Onboard the Buggy, about ten feet off the ground.

WaterBuffalo

Buffalo (Bison)

I have done lots of jobs, not LOTS, lots, but enough to know what I like and what I don't and how Management is next to money, the root of all evil.

Today I went to buy dinner for my Mom and the guy at the drive-through

(Pollo Tropical)

left some stuff off my order, and was surly. Now, this is for my MOM, so I will cripple a mother-fucker. Anyhow I was set to wondering, what the fuck is this asshat's problem?

If you do not like your job, leave. If you can't leave, being a moron will just make your day longer and your position set in stone.

I used to deliver Pizza, I didn't mind it actually, the pay sucked, but I love driving and the delivery area was a mix or Rich and Redneck. So one delivery would be to a huge house, and the other to a double-wide.

nb. Rich people are friendly, but terrible tippers, trailer folk tip quite well, even though they look to be sizing you up for a noose.

If you guys ever get the chance, steal a pizza delivery bag, they are huge and they keep food VERY warm. Yeah, needless to say I have one that I forgot to carry back.

My point is, as much as I hated some aspects of it, I did it to the best, cause at the end of the day:

You must pwn at everything you do. This is one reason why I do not try things like chess, cause I am not a good loser. I am not magnanimous in victory either. ( You dolt on Techjamaica, this is the proper usage of magnanimous!)

I made sure I was the second best driver (the other dude is a lifetime delivery guy there for years), I made the best Pizza, and I could do all the different jobs.

I obsess about work, I go fifty miles past extra to make sure my work is beyond reproach. The last job I had, my manager called me a fucking genius and stated I just get shit done, all he had to do was point me at shit that needed sorting. I OCD on whether the partitions are perfect, whether the sample of Kensington's will fit the laptops. I accept work calls at night, on weekends. I cannot leave work undone, if I do not tighten a screw to full, it nags me till it is done.

I also thrived when the store was crowded, the more hectic it was the better i did. One of the managers, this older black chick who tried to claim some vague Jamaican heritage, would get flustered if 4 Pizza's were on the line. They were all a bunch of whiny lazy punks, cept for this guy from Europe. That fucker would like do 50 Pizza's by himself in no time. When I worked shifts with him it was bliss. We are both OCD like nobody's business, so the store was CLEAN, the food fresh and hot.

I hated her, I would be so happy when she missed work. I also got her cousin fired from the store. Why ?

Cause you don't be a lazy motherfucker around me.

He'd come in, start eating, do no work in the back. Nothing. Except look for the biggest deliveries and take them.

He relieved me on Tuesdays, and on Tuesdays I watch Ramsey. This fucker started to miss Tuesdays, which made me double thereby missing my show. I did not have to double shift, but because I always finish my job, because the reputation of store supercedes my needs, because the better the store does, the better I do, I grinned and bore it. Tuesdays are also great days for tips.

So his cousin the manager went on vacation or something, and this new guy came in to replace her. So I seeded his ears with how much this fucker skips work and never calls in when he was gonna be absent. The dude was impressed how I stuck around and did double-shifts to cover that punk wanna-be Jamaican. He even called the regional manager to praise me.

So the hated cock-sucker got demoted. He threw a fit when he did show, and said the guys were not sticking up for him. So I offered him alligator sympathy, while laughing manically inside.

So he quit, and I was happy.

Ramsey FTW !!

btw...

I really liked the food prep aspect of it. The managers always used to ask me if I wanted to become manager because, my Pizza's rocked, they looked like flowers and shit. I also combined the ingredients to make a hidden menu items:

Chicken Wings with Roasted Red Peppers, Pineapples and Pecorino Romano Cheese are Epic...

(Send it through the oven once to warm, then cover with toppings then send through again)

Above is an off Menu Item I cobbled together one night when I was hungry. Of course, the next day, all the other guys were doing the  wings like that too. Jesus.. I am a PRO at Cooking.

Pecorino cheese is made from Sheep milk, it is salty and quite sharp.

Question for the ages, I live with you, sleep with you, eat with you. Why can't I get some time to even drive to the store without being on the phone with you?

The Skirt is the Sugar-Glider type. Sugar-Gliders are cute little marsupials from Australia, that sleep together in big social groups in a big ball of fur. They are always together, always...

Sugar-Glider ( Social-Sleepinabundlicus)

I am from a family who does their level best to stay apart except for the guilt visits during holidays and funerals. Do you see where this is going?

Today I get yelled at for daring to play a video game while she was on the phone. I left her 25 minutes earlier, and she was on her way to me, but she had to call to talk all the way here.

Bumbo...

I have been a good boy and have not dipped my wick into anything. This is me, living a life of quiet desperation.

And I am a FUCKING PRO at cooking.

Pork Sausage

Sliced Green or Red Pepper

Seasoning of your Choice

Sliced Onion

Sliced Garlic

Apple Cider/Juice

Butter

Olive Oil.

Combine in pot, Olive Oil, saute Onions then add Seasoning, Sausage then butter then Pepper, then add Apple Cider/Juice, turn heat high, stir constantly to avoid burning. Allow juices to form delicious gravy.

Make up some mash and serve meat and veg on top.

Pork Sausage with Apple Cider and Mash.DONE

I got a breadmaker, a Sunbeam Expressbake breadmaker. 

Having long harbored fantasies of bread pwnage, and armed thusly, I decided to try my hand. After traveling a short distance to the store and browsing racks of bread ingredients, or to be more accurate things I wanted to put in bread. Keeping myself in check , I got only the basics ;Bread flour and Active Yeast.

I found a recipe for herb bread, but I suffer from meat lust, so I decided to add something extra : SMOKED PORK.

Original Recipe:

Garlic-Herb Bread
1 and 1/4 cups water
1 tablespoon margarine or butter,
softened
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
3 and 1/4 cups bread flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 and 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary leaves
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1/4 teaspoon dried basil leaves
1 and 1/2 teaspoons yeast

Having no dried rosemary, basil, or thyme (I only had fresh herbs), So I substituted Italian dried seasoning, who co-incidentally contains the required herbs, just probably not in the same ratios. The pork was browned a bit to bring out the flavor and aroma.

I added the ingredients to the infernal machine and then left it to do its work.

See her growing and baking away in her home:

A while later = 

End Result: Delish Pork-Garlic-Herb Bread...

Look Ma, infused with Meat !!

Bread is good, yeah yeah yeah, it's not bad, no no no !!

Hot Meat Bread and Butter...GOD DAMN,

I Am a PRO @ Cooking !

So, for my b-day, Miss Mention takes me on a road trip surprise, we eat dinner at Chili's, after walking out of a Denny's restaurant after the dumb ass waitress seated us and then ignored us for 10 minutes. We drive for like 4 hours and appear in Orlando !

  Yup, only 203 Miles....

We listened to Dancehall all the WAY there..Man I love my old beat up Zen MP3 Player. We only saw two Highway patrol cops, and of course Miss Mentions racing blood was heated and her forehead started to heat up from flying down the highways at borderline light speed. She cuss every slow moving car, until I pointed out that the cars she cussin bout doin 80+ mph.

We got a discount at a hotel that her cousin works at, So we bedded down for the night. Long after she spent some time chatting with her cousin and her husband. There were two prostitutes who lived at the hotel full time, apparently they turn enough tricks to pay the hotel fees, although you would think that they could easily get a furnished apartment rather that paying for a room. I saw them though, and they were not much to look at, maybe some head if the beer goggles were thick enough to stop a rail gun shell, but that is the limit of my generosity. I love being a 'Curious George', and I saw this very well dressed pair of white dudes, looking very metro and coming out of a room with one bed...hmmmm?

PALACE, where it's only $49 plus tax (make sure the bastiches give a ya remote for the TV !!)

Saturday Morning we went on International Drive, and had a brief tour, we went to the Toy Train Museum/Helicopter tours place(I am doing the tour next time), then walked down to the upside down building that everyone was taking pictures of.

Yup even the FED/EX drop off box is upside down.

Turns out it's a museum called WonderWorks , very cool lots of geeky sciency stuff like virtual roller coasters, those globes with static electricity that makes your hair stand on end. Earthquake simulators, etc. Ultra Cool.

We then walked to the toy train Museum and Helicopter Tour place. They have tours from $25 to $385, I wanted to do it, but the $25 tour was like eight miles, and the helicopter looked like a windup toy.

This Tram Car was parked in front of the Helicopter Tour Place. I hopped it, and took pics.

to be continued...

Today, not for the first time, i realized that no matter how insecure I am about my appearance, I fully advocate nudity. :-)

Having huge windows in condo that is facing golf courses and neighbors and two busy streets mean I can exercise this advocacy to my hearts content. Isn't life grand..wish I was though. (lolers)

I wonder if I can get arrested...

On another note...

Today is my birthday, now guess what..

I look good in a suit..fucking good. So good I can't believe it's me good. However, everyone looks good in a suit, even Mr. Pango, the shit-throwing crack monkey, looks good in a suit. The problem is however that I hate suits, with a hatred that defies all reasonable reason hate. It's a burning soul searing, I-would-rather-be-sharing-a-cell-with-Mr. Pango than wear this  suit hatred.

I was invited out on my birthday, and I was told to wear a suit.

Is this some fuckery or what?

The one of the few things I hate, I have to do on the one day when I absolutely should not have to.

I realized that once I have explored all the sexual avenues with a woman that I want to explore, mi get tired of them,  till I do not even want to call her.  I will be her friend and pal, but no more bed talk. That is not to say I look down on them, I love women FAAAAR too much.

It's like that switch that controls my sexual interest short circuits.

Thank god mi ugly and no like tell woman fuckery bout "you is mi one and only", or mi woulda be a plague upon woman kind.

It is soo weird, I think I have a problem....

I get the sex out of the way ( I don't even cum most of the time), which leads me to believe that my brain sees them as some challenge, and once I figure out which buttons make them soak the sheets, I am ready to move on.

I need medication...

Some times I think my dick is malfunctioning, I have a lack of sexual interest in my bedroom partners, then five minutes later I see some chica whose panties I have not removed and I literally start drooling...LITERALLY.

I think a friend of mine suffers from that same complex. Her ex once claimed "from you new, she will fuck you." It's sorta true, but she is my homegirl forever. (If you read this Miss thing, I am still waiting on them macaroons!).

I am a special education teacher. Unfortunately, a lot of the parents don't care about their kids, especially the parents of my special education students. I say this because only about seven out of twenty parents actually come to their scheduled parent/teacher conference

It was my intention to recommend to a mother that her daughter be transferred to another school that has a Behavior Disorder program, where her needs would be addressed better. There is little I can do for her when I am instructing a class and she is sitting at the table screaming to me that I am a "fooker".

I told mom about this transfer and she flipped. She started to cry and plead that her daughter HAD to stay where she was. Why? I really don't know. Maybe she likes parenting barely functioning kids. Whatever the reason, it has to be serious, as she started giving me a detailed account of her past, leading up to the birth of her daughter. Here it is:

Six years ago she decided that she wanted to kill herself. She was an alcoholic, a drug fiend, and was injecting heroine into herself multiple times a day. She lived near a railroad, and had familiarized herself with the times that the train came through each day. She was going to have the train hit her. The night she decides to do it, she gets really loaded and pulls her car up to the train tracks. She parks the car, and proceeds to shoot-up heroine and drink alcohol. The time is nearing for the train to come through, so she starts her car, and prepares to pull onto the tracks. Just then, her car is hit VERY HARD by another car, driven, ironically enough, by a drunk driver. The impact causes her car to fly forward about 50 yards, past the tracks. The car that hit her is now on the tracks. The train comes through, blasts through the car, and kills the drunk driver. She freaks out because she is still alive and knows the police will be on the way. She has drugs on her, and is severely intoxicated. She drives home.

She decides that the next night she is going to attempt the same sort of death. She does the exact same thing; pulls her car up to the track, gets regally fucked up, and waits for the train. As she is waiting, a bus pulls up in front of her, between her car and the railroad tracks and completely blocks the way to the tracks. Just then, the train comes through.

This completely depresses her, and rightfully so, considering she is such a wasteoid that she can't even kill herself.

A couple days later, her boyfriend is getting all geared up to go hunting, as it is opening day for hunting season. BING! The light in her fried brain goes off, and she decides she is going to let a hunter shoot her. So she constructs herself a deer suit. Literally gets fur, and builds herself a fucking deer costume. She was describing this to me, and all I could think was Silence of the Fucking Lambs.

She completes her costume and goes out into the woods wearing it. She is out in the woods drinking, doing drugs, when she hears some rustling. She thinks that this is her chance, so she starts making some noise in the bushes, crunching leaves and shit, when she hears "Lady, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

It was the fucking park ranger! He immediately radios for assistance, and she is literally drug out of there in her "I love myself" jacket.

All of this while she was pregnant with her daughter, who is in my class.

And people wonder why I drink so much.

---- stolen with great hilarity and no mean spiritedness from Tardblog.com

Don't overcook.

Cream Soda is vanilla flavored..

K, basically most fish you buy on sidewalk tastes great but is hellaciously overdone. The Joy of good okra based seasoning and wood fire ehh?

Hang on, mi hand smells of pastry, yes pastry not pussy..( I Wish)

Anyhow..

Was feeling a bit like a downer yesterday and saw that drunkard chick on Food network cooking fish, and I thought:

"Fuck, I'm hungry and it's late, I do remember a frozen fish is in the freezer"

Fish

Onion

Scallion

Jerk Seasoning

White Pepper

Lime

Garlic

Salt

Foil

Wine

Soy Sauce

Baking Mechanism (Oven, Dragon breath, Furnace)

Hopefully the fish is whole, if not improvise.

Score fish (slice along sides)

Cut up some of the veg seasonings small, stuff inside fish cavity (where his clockwork used to be)

Spray/Spread oil on foil, season foil (no I'm not daft).

Lay fish on foil, wrap sides around fish, so he/she will be cocooned in foil.

Before shutting cocoon add rest of seasonings on top.

Lock up.

Put in Baking Mechanism is done, bout 10 mins at 400 degrees.

Nice with a crusty bread..

OR..

Onions
Fatty bacon
Fresh thyme
Green peas (frozen)

Olive oil, onions chopped, bacon chopped, almost done in pan add thyme, green peas.

All done, serve, fish on top.

Ramsey's the man.

Well, yet another New Years Eve, and like the previous four hundred and fifty three, I have fuck all to do and fuck all to do it with.

I am sick of this shit, every year some shit happens and fucks up any attempt by me to do something non apathetic for the holiday.

I am so...note WAS very depressed bout 20 secs ago, now I feel murderous... Wh00t!

Sex I want none, women... go fuck all of Ya'll selves at present.

I burnt a fucking hole in the counter top cooking dinner, so that is another big fucking problem to deal with.

Nester-san's Shrimp:

Pre-heat grill/toaster oven or whatever to hot.

Shrimp, big n juicy

Ginger powder

White pepper

Sesame seeds

Curry powder (Just a tipple)

Citrus flavoring (rind powder, whatever)

Pepper (Habanero or Scotch Bonnet)

Mix everything above except the grill however you like, and then put shrimp now covered in seasonings on grill till tender, and the tails spring back when straightened. If you die from "Vibrio parahaemolyticus" the shrimp needed more cooking.

I would have some choice words to express how I feel , but fear of the FBI has put a kibosh on any such verbiage coming to light.

Think I am gonna go to sleep.

FUCK YOU NEW YEAR